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“if I had two, I’d be King.” The King just laughed, since he already had two..what this refers to is anyone’s guess…there’s lightning to the north, past San Felipe and Volcan Fuego is spewing orange gouts of lava…thanks, Brielle Miel for pointing this out earlier…she leaves for Jackson Hole, Wyoming in a week…six months on a ranch…horses and all..no word if she’s gonna get on on the branding/neutering process…ooh, tie ‘em up and burn a brand on their furry legs…kinda san francisco, in a way..

so…the Butt Patrol has struck Ocelot and Lava…no smokee there anymore, no ashtrays…as an alternative for those of us who still cling to this risky behavior, there’s the terrace at Da Vinci…service upstairs may be a bit slow but Luis Miguel is planning on installing a bar upstairs..

Alex of Sobremesa! back from a honeymoon in Italy with some great food/drink ideas…yeah, he’s got the concept that the $$ is in booze and not food..its not hard: in a quart or liter there’s 25 shots…sell 4 and the rest is profit…is this hard?

there’s a coming vacancy on 5th calle…nope, can’t talk about it but the concept/idea should work…5th, with Da Vinci, Chez Christophe, Las Cebollinas may just be the new ground zero for the food/beverage biz in town…La Pena del Sol anchors the west end…’got to introduce Bill H to Maite M this morning…amazing that those two haven’t met each other…she plays next door at the tennis club(and I confessed that I sometimes leer thru the bushes when she’s on the  court)…and I’m saving my balls for her…nope, not what you think…tennis balls that get knocked over the fence..she accumulates boy-toys that take care of her dogs…hey, if it works, why knock it?

Roberto Fraser of Rainbow Cafe says that Guatemala City now has a cricket team (and they just whipped on El Salvador’s ass) and they’re thinking of expanding…perhaps with a Antigua cricket team…but they need a large grassy area to play…hmm..the polo field, the horse show field out by Ciudad Vieja? I like the idea…watch the bowlers bowl, slug a few gin and tonics, make semi-intelligent remarks about the wicket or the pitch…’oh I say..well done, Nigel!” if cricket is anything you’ve ever wanted to ‘do’..Roberto is the guy to talk to..

dos Reilly’s doing a good early trade, Fusion same-o, B5 waiting..and waiting..El Caz with the shiny SUV/guards crowd filling up…town fulla folks in suits/ties…why? who cares? bring money, dammit..go take a look at DV’s terrace…it’s a lot better than some,like that place on 4th that advertises “best terrace view in town”..yeah, that one..the one that’s always empty..and if you go on a Monday or Tuesday night, you’ll get to gaze upon Claudia #1, which ain’t bad..John K around for a few more days, before leaving us, once again, for the wilds of Ecuador and beyond…ask him about trout fishing at 14000 feet with a rubber worm..”Fish and Stream” coulda run this article..Ricardo’s T&V packed, as usual…party time…he seems to have the magic ingredient for making it happen…’another glass of wine, my dear? ’ hey, it works…have a great weak end..stay away from Fuego..

 

  

Film at 11

fire flies! flitting around the patio…hey, it doesn’t take much for me to get excited…Sierra Harding’s birthday today…yeah, she worked the evening shift at O’lot but was surrounded by well wishers…even a few gifts here and there…she is, after all, very sweet..as is Tracy and Beverly..

ah, more ATM stuff…’been told that if one uses a Citibank card at the BAC ATM’s, Citi automatically shuts it off…the 5B machine down the street at Banco Whatever has gone wierd on me since Sunday…today they ripped the guts out of it..my card was put on hold but I sweet-talked my bank in the Us into a release…whew…amazing how a few Q in the pocket makes life a bit better…so, the volcano? nope, didn’t do anything to the golf course at La Re Union…Nicky Z and latest girl friend at O’lot…hey, he’s got it…Rich Neel reporting that the races at the Pedro Cofino track out by Esquintla are worth seeing..yep, put me down…june 17th, assuming that the proposed road trip to Take a Lik Abaj isn’t happening  at that time.

so..a quiet semi-rainy night…Flor was florescent..Dasha, of course..the ever delightful Ms M getting off her shift at dos Reillys…town fulla gringas..why? volunteers/spanish schools? they’re young, they’re mostly blond and they’re….built really well..hey, i just call it like i see it, ok?

Tuesday night and Cashbar is closed? Monday nights i understand..but Tuesday?…a sign of the times, i s’pose..the old Reilly’s location is still getting work done: what it’s gonna be is anyone’s guess…kinda like La Estancia, which burnt down a year ago and only now is/are the roof joists going up..and again, as I said to Nick Z, I’m amazed at how thin the cash layer is in town…some folks can’t cash a 100q note, some don’t have a 100q…and i’m talking about established business’…

 

with apologies to Maria Muldaur….whew…Fuego goes ballistic(literally), there’s a partial eclipse of the sun later today and there’s a serious/stationary storm system setting off the Pacific Coast up by Ocos/Re-hoo…not to mention that it rained most of the night here…fine..what road systems/bridges? they haven’t fixed the ones from last year or the year before…hey, ox-carts! it worked for the old folks..

John K, back from a month on Coke Island…no, Roatan, west Bay, west end…he refered to West End as being ‘bohemian’…a polite adjective, at best..on to Ecuador in a week or so(and beyond)…oughta paint the old Merry Prankster’s slogan on his incredible SUV…”Further..’ i forget the exact spelling but then I forget a lot of stuff…

what was the race in town about this morning? runners of all ages, kids on bikes, folks with dogs…Christine and Phillip Watson passed, waving..(Mr Eco-Filtro) and i thought he said that i should be on the Rape List…no…my bad left ear heard it that way..he said “Race List”…I think..I’m too old for either list anyway..

The elegant Gina C and the electric Flor Moran(Dasha) out on the town last night…and its raining again…fine…i gotta fire laid(and that’s the only thing that gets laid in this house)..taco fixin’s await..the ATM’s were down earlier…probably a cow leaning against a telephone pole somewhere.. and re Roatan…no news, Wilbur-wise…heard that he’d been in town a few weeks ago but no confirmation…no idea on the INTERPOL status and no desire to check(frankly, Scarlett)

and..drum roll…another 5 star review on Amazon.com! to quote, “the best travel guide I have ever read.”….the book was aimed at a certain demographic and appears to have found the target…

  http://www.amazon.com/Our-Man-In-Antigua-Edition/product-reviews/1468122940

am I happy, proud or what? you see, I love this town and whatever bad publicity has come our way needs to be offset or explained…tourism is the life-blood, folks…there are some that decry the kinds/types of tourists but in this times we gotta take what comes…

new fish market/store, on 6th calle, opposite Tanque Verde…dunno about the location or concept…most restaurants already have their fish connections..maybe if they called it “La Fin de Semana”….’fin, get it? sorry ’bout that…the rain is getting to me…segue-way to the witchiest lady in town, Angel of Djinn…whew…if you can top that/her, tell me..will i go back to town tonight? who cares? my boots are wet, the fire is laid, cha cha..

a punch-out in the park by the fountain this morning….a guide slugged a photographer(a negative attitude?)…ambulances roared up, PNC descended and a crowd formed…the cops took four or five different versions, compared notes and left…the photographer, with cotton stuffed up his nose left in a huff(not the ambulance) and the Andean band cranked up…ah, Fridays in the Park, eh?

the constant hassle with which version and which revision of the ‘Our Man in Antigua’ little travel guide has been put to rest, thanks to the advice of Sophos Books in the City…no more ‘First or Second Edition’ stuff..revising it/printing it will be easier henceforth…just the date of the revision inside: hey, cut me some slack…I’ve never done this before. I’m winging it, ok?

http://www.amazon.com/Our-Man-In-Antigua-Edition/dp/1468122940

the local food/beverage folks aren’t happy with the May numbers…folks who were regulars left, it’s an off month for tourism and so on and so forth…maybe June and the outa school crowds will add some shekels to the cash box but then they’re mostly back-packers on a limited budge…and the onslaught of the seasonal rains isn’t exactly helping. I was asked why i hadn’t been seen at my usual watering hole this week…the rains, dude…they hit about 4pm and don’t stop til 7 or 8…perfect timing for the Happy Hour, right? let’s see..i can go to town in the rain, get soaked, get high on a couple of drinks and then get wet coming home?  or I can sit on the covered/dry patio and watch the rain, listen to some opera and keep my tootsies dry? maybe if the drinks were free and the barmaids topless…or vice versa.

Again, more kudos to James Durham aka Bull for his superb source for pork products from Tecpan…the ribs are defrosting, the dogs are hovering and the barbie is prepped for later…the barbecue…you know, the recycled auto wheel on legs..I actually knew a “Barbie” in Vegas…and a sweet lady…yep, there’s photos somewhere..send a self-addressed stamped envelope..if I’m out later there may be other stuff…don’t count on it.

Late night ketchup…odd how some eateries that have been ‘hot’ are now cold…Cafe Bourbon empty and it used to be packed when Piano Mike and Moriah were playing there…Sobremesa empty, Fusion jammed..party of 10 or 12..big smile on Alex’ face…El Caz Italiano ground zero, as usual, for the shiny SUV/security guard crowd…’been hearing good things about the Sunshine Grill on 6th Avenida norte, corner of the alley Los Nazarenos…great breakfasts and i’ve seen them hand-tossing the pizza dough…tis been said that it’s better to eat the pizza there than wait for home delivery.. and yes another bar on 4th calle, between 5th and 6th…middle of the block…Central Pub or Pub Central…big on Budweiser…how many more bars/pubs/can this place hold/stand/put up with? Tacodiscontento empty, as usual…Las Cebollinas the same but both have deep pockets, as with Polio Compero. The economics of this place never fail to amaze me, the sheer number of restaurants/bars…Nadoosh, on 6th ave norte? outside wall painted over and no sign that they were ever there(smart move..get out)that block is a dead zone…Kafka gone, Da Vinci gone..Dakiri or whatever looking equally dead..funny how things shift..the owners/landlords smile and take the long view..vacant? so? make me an offer..

with what may be the first ‘real’ rain of the season and which is still comin’ down, let me say that I’m glad to see it…yeah, by October we’ll be pissin’ and moaning..’will it ever stop?’ the calles weren’t that deep with water(yet) and the new umbrella (#1 of the season)got loaned out to a lady friend who needed it more than I did..yeah, there were plans to got out/about/check in…truncated, aborted, cut short…

and fresh comment from a local…it’s nice to know that someone out there cares…

“Assholes Anonymous might be just what the doctor ordered for your skirt chasing, panty sniffing, bold italic, run-on sentence writing, dildo in your ass ass.”

I’m starting to wonder about the viability/longevity of a couple places on 4th calle..’thought I saw the AA meeting place moving out a day or so ago..taking the speakers rostrum out to a truck..rent increases or lack of business?  probably ‘A’ since there’s gotta be a surplus of AA members in this town or at least some who should be showing up..

incoming ribs from Bull Durhams xlnt Tecpan connection..! jameswdurham2@gmailcom if you’re into pork products..i’ve eschewed the double order of ribs and chops…cuz i eat ‘em up…you know, they’re thawed and i figure that i might as welll bbq ‘em…and then..well, might as well eat ‘em..

so..this is a ‘quiet month’ for the food/beverage people?  i call it a ‘giant sucking sound’…Ricardos’ Tabacos y Vinos doing a nightly semi-party and for 5th, that’s about it…Red’s dead, as with everyone else in that part of town..work goin’ on at the old Reilly’s location and what it’s gonna be? no one knows or if they do, they ain’t talking to me..sometime soon, the soft opening of the old 709 place next to Fusion on 4th calle..yeah, the usual delays..$$, ripoffs, adjoining owners suing..each other…swell..

so? where’s the beef?…not here…i”m trying to wrap up a couple of articles and going out at night hasn’t seemed productive…sue me..thanks, Brendan, for offering to slough off/refer/dump some projects…no can do..’got my own deadlines..th slow drizzle outside is just perfect….the leaves glisten, the lawn soaks it up and it looks like croquet might not be on the schedule soon..

been a lot of mortars going off all day…is this like cloud seeding or what? kaboom!…make it rain!  as i said, no sizzle..

another procession? yep…clouds of incense, fireworks and a barge pulling up to the Cathedral….Marcel of El Cazadore Italiano knew the reason/event but it was over my head(as with most things)…any excuse to light stuff off seems to be the bottom line in Antigua…

DaMayor’s SUV seen on 4th Avenida..dusty…hiding out from last week’s bad publicity or taking lessons from Otto? a quiet night for the food/beverage industry in town, at least in the early part of the evening..some swillers seen at Ocelot’s Happy Hour…Spiro, Piano..no, make that Guitar Mike, scheduled for an 8:30 at Angie Angies later tonight..Moriah now has a full time job teaching at a Christian Spanish School and making decent $$$..Adan, our Cuban pianist, wearing what coulda been one of Ignacio’s hawaiian shirts..any word on Ignacio? gotta be tough, losing a leg…it’s not like he’s gonna be drawing disability payments..

talks with G Mike about croquet..yeah, he’s up for it..another concept? bocce ball…if there was an italian restaurant,etc…speaking of Italian restaurants, La Viniera Antigua’s deal hasn’t closed…now, per Beppe, it’s the first of June for the new owners..

tomorrow? the Mother’s Day in the States…Jon M of Epicure and wife refused passage outa the country per their passports having less than 6 months before expiring…who knew? weird US laws, again…ergo, if you wanna go, make sure that your passport has time left on it..the more i hear/read about new laws in the States the more i ‘m reminded of ‘Orwell’s 1984′/nazi germany..substitute the Dept of Homeland Security for the Gestapo and there you are..buncha obese clowns with power and they love exercising it..thank you, Osama Bin Laden, for creating a nightmare of bureaucracy..your legacy with live on, far longer than you might have imagined.

the very delicious Flor about to close Dasha…dos Reilly’s almost empty but with the the sound of Booker T and the MG’s…”Green Onions’…streets/sidwalks packed with people/spectators…Juan Mario Cervantes, our local detective, hanging at El Portal…bocce ball! a simple game(even Italians can figure it out)but where? Angie Angie’s back yard? hmmm…thanks to Mr Will…yes, EBay has a lot of croquet  sets for sale…

 

which meant fireworks at 4am…o boy…and it wasn’t ‘just for breakfast anymore’ to quote the long gone Anita Bryant…a splash of Gordons with the 4am OJ seemed to put me back in slumberville..Mother’s Day in Antigua? started early with the brunch crowd and was winding up nicely with the dinner folks…sobremesa quiet, Fusion doing an early party of 8 or so…El Cazadore Italiano empty and Chez Chris packed (maybe it was the pink & white balloons..even Cashbar offering a Mother’s Day dinner special…

and yes, another new bar/restaurant on 3rd calle between 5th and 6th avenidas…name? Kafka…a big open space below with yet another sign advertising ’the best terrace view in Antigua’…you know, folks..maybe someone needs to do some research on this…for my two quetzals it’s the Blue Sky or what was El Caminante’s El Mirador’..I kinda like El Chaman’s site, being next to the fallen down church..and Lava’s views aren’t bad either, of the tasty latinas goin’ up/down the spiral staircase or the city views..

why the accordion aka stomach steinway concert in the park tonight? is this some kinda mother’s day tradition? he plays at the Whisky Den once in a while..can’t get him to play either ‘Lady of Spain’ or the ‘Beer Barrel Polka’…roll out the barrel, etc..

the ‘Perfessor’ checked in from the rainy/cold northwest aka Washington State…misses this place, for a lotta reasons and all of them good..well? drop off the key, lee…get a new plan, stan…the conversational content has dropped about 50% in meaningful stuff…it’s down to me and TM talking cars, if that’s a clue..that and bad car titles or no car titles..

the ever beautiful Flor at Dasha, working…she’s back to being a blonde again…she laughed when I said ‘Feliz Dia Del Madre’…shook her head..no, not me…same-o for me..dos Reilly’s very quiet but then they’re not exactly a Mother’s Day venue…just the opposite, if anything..one thing i never see here are condoms on the streets or syringes..those of us from big cities take this stuff for granted as being urban artifacts…

DaMayor made Prensa Libre last week, following the El Periodico article on his ’side businesses’…and I haven’t seen his SUV parked in its usual spot on 4th ave by O’lot…it didn’t seem like there was a lot of money in the deals but who knows? hey, if you’re making 8 grand a month why n0t stretch it to 9? dollars, btw..Ruslan and beautiful lady popped in for the Happy Hour…he with a giant leek from the mercado(soup later) she with a radiant smile(as always) i’m glad they’re back from SF, if only for a while longer..Michael Tallon, jogging around while he distributes the latest La Cuadra issue..

Antigua…where else can you go to Bodegona, reach for a bottle of orange juice and the lady who’s running the pulperizer stops you…and fills up a bottle with the ‘just squeezed’  stuff?

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