Our Man in Antigua

Ack! I’m referring to FaceHole aka Facebook..why? the time, the effort in reading dumb affirmations, et cetera..I quit, I’m opting out…taking a break, a hiatus from FB..I took a ‘net break’ over the weekend and found that I liked not checking in, reading stuff just to be reading…and not getting anything done that required a train of thought, as if I had one (it left a long time ago, some folks say..

the Facebook/Our Man in Antigua page will continue to offer weekly stuff…a feel good article about something ‘only in Gautemala’ soon, next week a road trip to Iximche and June? major %$#@! changes…for that, you if like, go there and click on the ‘like’ button 

Pat Farrell, gonzo….the only left over is Alabama Bob…here for 20 months plus and coming along next week for the Iximche run…with a new passenger, Dr Jackson…HBT’s driving will soon deliver a ‘yay or a ‘nay’…i think he’ll pass…meaning go along with the deal..

Max Gonzalez of El Muro…in town..at the bank and Claro…says that El Mur0/Lanquin is about to  officially open, four months over schedule…which explains the unanswered emails/phone calls from February…and that El Muro/Antigua has been closed for 3 weeks,with ‘exciting new changes’…nope, can’t talk about it  but they sound great ..

ungood reports from that place on the edge of town that advertises ‘hamburgers/ribs…’….Piano Mike, off to San Cristobal de las Casas on Friday…took notes from Alabama Bob and I…’if it weren’t so cold, I could live there.”

me…” a big tip of the panama to AsGreenAsitgets.org…the latest coffee batch, with the photo of  Don Filiberto? xlnt roast…i remember 5 years ago, visiting his house in San Miguel Escobar..dirt floors..big difference today…yay, Franklin!

dishualded? too far…alas..great scene, too few people…remember Peter Glover and the El Caminante scene? dancing, skits, strip shows, the views, cha cha..? and that was on 1st avenida…antigua, a viscious town for bars..viscous? nasty,ok?

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described as ‘an uneven movement from bar to bar…it’s a musical term but might apply to more than a few in this town of many many bars.

So…the Beauty Pageant…town packed, the town band doing their Friday night concert and a ton (metric, of course) of superb senoritas doin’ the stroll…traffic? jammed, packed..why?

the usual patio crowd…or maybe the unusual Friday night gathering at that place…old faces, some not seen for a while, some coming by to say ‘adios’ to Mike D, leaving us on Sunday…almost the Last of the Mohicans, if you include Alabama Bob…damned shame but that’s life in a resort town.

Blake of Pappy’s BBQ….his most xlnt beef jerky is now in 6 places around town and his ribs…no, the stuff  he smokes…even that sounds wierd: the food that comes outa the smoker and his hole in the wall cafe on 6th calle, now in three places in town, with a couple others ‘under the table’…. how refreshing to see/hear of someone with a business plan, considering how many others just throw spaghetti at the wall and see if it sticks (a metaphor, ok?)

if you see me in town next week with a device hanging from  my left ear, it’s a hearing aid…after four years later(blew it out in the pool at Dos Mundos, on a weekend with ‘her’ and three docs said it was gone….even the vaunted VA…no chance, no way, a hearing aide won’t do any good….wrong, rum breath…if i should also happen to tune in to the  mother ship, that might be a good thing also…wait…is it the Rapture? who cares..in my case, more likely the Rupture, considering the approach of yet another birthday in the  Sixties Series (and the last)…christ,  how did this happen? I thought that if i abused myself enough…yeah, that didn’t work either but I’m still trying…HIV? hair, involuntary loss…AIDS?  hearing, roll, band and so on…

and now…three juice bars in town! as if one could sustain the crush/pay the rent…yep, on 7th ave, around the corner from Pitaya and El Sitio…and more hole-in-the-wall dress/coffee/tourist stuff shops there/here/whatever…and not a snowballs chance in hell to make it til July, if then. And of course, the usual crop of  blond gringas here for ‘spanish school, you know’ all find latin tutors for those after hour sessions of irregular verbs..its an annual event….do any of them actually take Pedro or Pancho home to meet Mom and Dad?

and it looks like I got/paid the Gringo Tax for treatment at our local dermatologist…after all was said, done and more importantly, paid, I showed him the critters from my tongue that originally brought me to his office…’ah those…from some kind of fruit you ate.’..thanks, doc..thanks $$$ a bunch..’tongue’s fine, pockets are empty and it’ll be a long time before i go back…doctors, like any profession such as mechanics, septic tank pumpers and attorneys, are only as good as their training…some bad, some good and the majority just so so…ah, it’s the weekend, and the rains may fall, the sun will shine and life, as we know it, will go forweird.

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shoulder to the wheel…at last, the skies opened, the lightning flashed, the thunder rumbled and the rains fell..yeah…big fucking deal and by november we’ll be swearing again.  But, for the moment, it’s delicious. The hanging ferns on the patio got a drink, i had a few(thanks again, to Christian, for suggesting that one ‘pep up’ those little Skyy Cosmo bottles with some other vodka)

and the exodus continues….we’ve lost Ponzi Bob,  his  pal, Reid and Joe miller this week…the ‘Perfesser’, Mike D, leaves on Sunday…Alabama Bob, the last holdout, leaves on  June the whatever…who’s gonna pick up Cindy’s tab? not my problem or yours, if you’re smart…the rains will curtail the happy hour double table of perverts at Ocelot, which means that you  don’t have to hurry to get a good seat.

some new activity going on next to CAfe Flor on 4th Ave…looks like another stab at the restuarant biz..brilliant..not… if I understood Flor of Dasha, Tomorrow, Friday is her grand opening…6th qavenida, across from dos Reillyh’s..ah, fucking wordpress or the net..whatgver…i give up..maybe in the jmronging..and yes, HBT’s Booger Cougar has been totally buffed out..new paint, no dings (yet) and so on..

and if you wonder what I do at 5am, here’s a clue

http://www.examiner.com/article/ten-thousand-feet-of-bliss?cid=db_articles

so…this works better in the morning, indicating one of two things: wordpress is slammed at night or the breathalyzer on my  keyboard needs cleaning.

and yes, per the dashing Flor of Dasha, the grand opening is tonight(Friday)starting at 8pm..6th Ave, across from dos Reilly’s (whom I’ve heard has multi-lawsuits pending) since when is dancing on the bar a crime?

und  zo, a new season  rolls around/in….the rains at night are perfect, as long as the streets in town can handle the water flow…either that or wear your  high heel sneakers..re the Dasha thing…know that it’s a women’s apparel shop, so unless you’re cross-dressing, the main event is Flor herself (expect something great) 

who makes up those model names on the scooters? Italika and Dashing are fine, but Shooter?

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otherwise known as our local cops…not much to do except hang outside various establishments and check for decibel levels and whether or not their licenses are posted….some hefty fines reported, here and there. Crime? yep…Rafa’s Bistro and others broken into, while the boys in black are busy bonking their lady crime fighters in some back street…first things first, I s’pose…”is that a 9 in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?’

Gabi Altman, one of our more tasty women, checked in from Slovakia, where she’s taking care of her sister…yeah,  she’s coming back (Gabi)

the attitude towards local business from the City/Muni is fairly obvious: case in point…the license for the about to be open Pit Stop (outside the City limits)was granted in a day, whereas anything local takes months…which as  some , like the poor bastards at Papa Town go ahead and open without one and then get popped, closed, fined and offered a ‘special’ if they put up more $$$..it’s all sleazy and the cops are screwing everyone in sight, even their own.

Alabama Bob’s back from El Salvador…’might be his last trip, he says…’going back to the States in June, uncertain of his return and the usual exodus of our winter visitors continues….it’ll make for a drop in bar revenues and more empty spaces on the benches in the park.the ‘net is slow and writing this takes forever…hasta la pasta!  

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